dream outloud

So, we're at the mid-week point of Week 3 of campers - a Junior High week.

It's definitely been a mixed bag this week - my pendulum of responsibilities has been wildly swinging from one end to the other.  I've had awesome days, where I get to the end, and think, "this is what it's all about!  What a great day, with so many great experiences, conversations, and interactions!".  And there are other days, where I get home and think, "Will this week not end?  Will this summer not end?  What am I doing here?". 

I'm not sure how to level out, and stop this wild swinging.  I know I'm here because the Lord planned it, and so I know that He'll work everything out for good.  But, every once in a while, I feel the unsettled edges of the not-so-distant- future creeping in and disturbing my joy.  What will I be doing in 4 months?  Where will I be?  Who will I be?  Lord - what is your plan?  What are you doing in me?

Obviously, I'm in a questioning place today.  But, the thing is that nothing's really gone "wrong" today...it was all just very scattered.  And I've allowed myself to be distracted from my purpose here, and some internal longings.  All of which have thrown my balance off.  (which seems to be a pretty regular occurrence)

Anyways - some highlights of the week have been:

• Spending days encouraging people
• Visiting all the different areas around camp and talking with the staff
• Having meaningful conversations
• Carpet ball games
• Kayaking
• Cloud-gazing
• Having my staff have "victory moments"
• Being encouraged in the Word
• Reading poetry (E.E. Cummings rules)
• Watching the best of Chris Farley with friends
• Long conversations after meals
• Meetings with wise leaders
• Reminiscing over photos
• Talking about Boaz with some of the ladies (what a guy!)
• Singing loud in the truck

So, lots of good stuff.  Negatives stick out in my head, but these are the things that I want to focus on.  God is doing good things, and I want to be a part of it all.  Use me here, Lord.  Show me what you want for me, and need from me.  Teach me your ways, and help me to glorify you.