Saturday, April 16, 2011

A Day Away

Okay, I'll be honest...it's been incredibly good to get away from camp for awhile - and away from Lake Geneva.  Eve if it's only been for a few hours, it's totally worth it.  And even if it is snowing! in April after it was 80 degrees last Sunday...Just being an hour away for a couple of hours has been totally refreshing.  I'd still like a "real" vacation, but I'll take what I can get!

So, I've been settling into my new life in Lake Geneva at LGYC & CC.  I think I'm beginning to hit a rhythm, so now it's time to change it up.  I'm definitely still very alone - so first change is to have a "community night".  I think after Easter, Friday nights are going to be Open House nights:  Bring a chair, and a game and food to share.  I'll never know who exactly's going to show up, but I think I'm not the only one who's craving a regular hang-out night.  I can't do a lot about my seating situation right now, but I also can't wait until everything's perfect.  So, come all ye people, and let's have fun!

Next step - regular work out nights.  I've been going to the beach just about every night - but now it's time for something more.  AKA - no more Netflix until I've done something active!  So - lots of walks, hiking in Big Foot and biking.  I think I'm going to buy a new bike...AND I've got permission to get a puppy!  I think I'll wait until the fall - I think I'll be done with any major traveling by then.  But, it will be good to have "someone" around when I get home.  :)

Another step - Do Something Creative - EVERY DAY!  If it's painting my walls, crocheting, making a card, making jewelry, coloring - whatever.  I NEED to create.  I've found that I'm quite unhappy when I don't.  It's like a part of me is dying inside.  Sounds dramatic, but it's true.

Anyways, that's my plan to get over the fact that I'm working a desk job again.  Never thought I'd go back to a desk...but I know it's where God has me.  Maybe it will evolve and change...or maybe I'll move to Oregon... :)

Monday, March 7, 2011

Donald Miller's - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years...great read.


What story are you telling? from Rhetorik Creative on Vimeo.
http://www.amazon.com/Million-Miles-Thousand-Years-Learned/dp/1400202981/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1299514898&sr=8-1

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Transitions & Isolation

These past few months have been an absolute whirlwind. To break it down:

  • May 1, 2010 - move to East Troy, WI from Chicago for job as Interim Assistant Director of Youth Ministry at Timber-lee Christian Center.
  • October 12, 2010 - Wrap up Mother/Daughter retreat at Timber-lee, and start packing - apparently my work here is done.
  • October 17, 2010 - Move from Timber-lee to (my incredibly generous friends') the Skibba's home in Elkhorn, WI.
  • Spend 3.5 months looking for a job, and wondering what in the world God is doing.
  • January 15, 2011 - See ad for job as Conference Assistant in the bulletin at Saturday Community.
  • January 16, 2011 - Sunday, the library is closed.
  • January 17, 2011 - Call Joel (who works at LGCC), and ask him about job/if he thinks he'd be ok working with me. Send in resume and cover letter
  • January 18, 2011 - Call Brad to follow up - leave a message.
  • January 19, 2011 - Brad calls to schedule an interview for the next day.
  • January 20, 2011 - Interview. It goes well.
  • January 21, 2011 - Brad calls to ask for references.
  • January 22, 2011 - I send references.
  • January 25, 2011 - Brad asks me in for another interview.
  • January 26, 2011 - 2nd Interview - Brad offers me the job. I accept
  • January 28, 2011 - 1st Day on the job at LGCC
  • January 31 - First week of work at LGCC, I live in Willows 3-4 for two weeks
  • February 8 - Jessica moves out of Timbers, I'm now free to move in.
  • February 10 - Joel helps me move stuff from Timber-lee to Timbers
  • February 12 - I move most of my stuff from the Skibbas (still living in Willows)
  • February 13 - Joel and I move the rest of my stuff from the Skibbas. Note - he great at backing up a trailer. :) I spend my first night (amidst the boxes) at Timbers.
  • February 14 - Now - Slowly settling into Timbers, beginning to make it feel like home.
  • February 26 - Parents come up to visit. Go out for a Birthday Dinner.
  • February 28 - My Birthday! It wasn't a very good one.

Today - March 1, 2011 - I am lonely, and alone. Living in the middle of a camp, but completely isolated; cut off from the rest of the world.

I don't know what's up with all these highs and lows. God's doing something here, and I think I'm under attack. Yesterday was so hard. Few people acknowledged that it was my birthday, which is not something that I would normally dwell on, but it just emphasized how alone and unknown I am. And it was easy to feel sorry for myself, even amidst a large group of people.

Camp Family life is hard to integrate into. I know I've only been here for a month. But, I think it's kind of sad that the only person I really know here is Joel, and that's because we've known each other for 6 years. Becoming a part of the family will take time. I know that. But the meantime is really lousy, and I have to be very careful not to sink into that darkness.

The Lord has been protecting me in many ways, but even the smallest things seem so huge right now. I've been through so many moves and transitions that sometimes I wake up at night and don't know where I am. So lost. My job at LGCC is permanent for pretty much as long as I'd like it to be, but I can't help feeling unsettled...I haven't stayed anywhere for longer than a few months for the past year. It leaves me thinking that I'm going to have to pack up and move again in a couple months. It's taking a huge effort to put down roots. I want to paint my apartment, but it seems an almost foolish investment to part of my mind - because who knows how long I'll be around to enjoy it...

Lord, please don't let me become bitter in my loneliness. In my isolation. Provide me with community, and help me to find my rest - my home - in you. You are my rock, my refuge and my strength. Give me the grace, the patience, and the tenacity to work hard and pull through this time of transition and isolation. Grant me the self-control and discipline to keep my eyes set on you - to keep running this race, and not get tangled in the web of my own thoughts and selfishness.

Lead on, Lord.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Snow Day 2011

The joy bubbling up in my heart, and through my laughter as a plowed through knee deep snow to work this morning is due in large part to the Incredible Beauty of creation right now!

Yesterday, the snow began, and it fell and blew in earnest all night.  This morning, I awoke to a winter wonderland ripe for play - and just in time for Arctic Blast this weekend.  The kids are going to love it!  The drifts are at least 3.5 feet tall, and any stairs around camp have completely disappeared into a white slope.  This is a snowshoers delight.  I love it.  The trees are dripping with snow frosting, and every once in a while the world will fade away in a white out of blowing flakes.

Lord, you are amazing.  Thank you for the beauty and the fierceness of your creation.  Thank you for a day to play, and a beautiful place to play in.  You are Good!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Where do "Waiting" & "Faith" Converge?

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about faith.  It seems my whole life is a battle between Faith and Self, and most of the time it's extremely "not fun". 
Hebrews 10:38-39 says, "'But my righteous one will live by faith.  And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.'  But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."

Obviously, Faith is something that God values highly, and something that He will reward.  But, how much Waiting is in Faith?  Is Waiting a definite part of Faith?  Does living by Faith necessitate Waiting?  Or is Waiting what those of us who are trying to live by Faith do in order to play it safe?  Are there even answers to these questions?!  It often seems to me that Faith should involve "jumping", and doing tremendously huge things - taking "leaps" for God.  So, do we need to wait for instruction to know what to leap into?  That only makes sense...  Why must it take so long?  And how will we really know when it's time to leap?

Psalm 27:13-14 says, "I am still confident of this:  I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

Okay, so maybe the the Waiting is what takes Faith...being confident that God is good and that He will answer our Faith.  Waiting takes patience and endurance and is often accompanied by Suffering.  Perhaps the Waiting and Suffering are there to create Faith.  There to make us ask questions that draw us closer to the heart of God...
2 Corinthians 1:5-6 reminds us that, "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.  If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer."

So, it would seem suffering brings us closer to Christ - or closer to an understanding of Christ - and in Him we can also gather comfort - all of which produces Patient Endurance.  Is Patient Endurance synonymous with Waiting?  I suppose it's at least in the same family as both Patient Endurance and Waiting take Faith.  And also produce Faith.  Whoa.  Okay, I'm making my head spin - in a good way...

Well, there aren't any profound answers in here, but there is a lot of truth - something the Bible is really excellent for.  I'll leave you with one of my favoraite passages:
Ephesians 3:14-21 "For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowlege - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever!  Amen!"

Monday, September 20, 2010

Where has the time gone?!

Wow - so much has happened in the last 3 weeks.  It's hard to even process all that I've done.

Right after the end of camp when all my staff left, I was able to go on a mini-vacation with a couple friends.  Kara, Sandra and I left on a Tuesday and headed up to Pictured Rocks National Park in the U.P. of Michigan.  It was Incredible!

We camped at a site in Bay Furnace - it was wonderful and cozy - and did day trips to multiple waterfalls, beaches, lighthouses, and wooded paths.  We ate like queens, and before we left on Thursday, we did a 10 mile loop through one of the most beautiful areas I have ever seen.  As we hiked along the shoreline, each time we can to a new bend in the road, we'd all gasp and exclaim, "this is AMAZING!".  We couldn't believe that it just kept getting better.  The rock formations along Lake Superior are gorgeous and the water was a caribbean colored green/blue.  We couldn't decide if it felt more like we were in Mexico or the Pacific Northwest, with the beautiful bluffs and pine trees.  Everywhere we looked was more beautiful than the last sight we'd seen.  Incredible trip.
For the past few weeks, I've been prepping for Jumpstart retreats and the Mother/Daughter retreat at the beginning of next month.  It's been crazy, and I've been working way too many hours.  But, the Lord has been providing in all things (as He always does), and all has been working out.  September 17-19 was the first of two Jumpstart weekends.  It was Sr. Hi, and Josh Petersen spoke, and 38 Acres led us in worship.  It turned out to be a really good weekend.  Though it totally stressed me out and exhausted me in every way!  The LCMs were awesome and helped out wherever they could, but there were no volunteers, so 80% of the weekend was an exhausting one-man-show.                                           

My favorite part of the weekend, was night canoeing on Saturday night.  I wasn't sure how it would turn out, but it ended up being pretty awesome (i.e. no one dumped).  We set up a huge campfire, and made rockin' s'mores with every kind of "filling" you could think of.  We made snicker's s'mores, and reese's s'mores, and white chocolate s'mores, and milky way s'mores...it was pretty great, and the kids loved it.  There was a youth group from New Hope Community in Shorewood, IL, and they were awesome.  It was so great to hang out with them - they totally reminded me of my high school youth group.
In short - God was really good, and everything worked out, because He provided in every way.  I pray that lives were changed, and I pray that this weekend goes even better!  And I know it will, because Jenna's coming up, and I have more LCMs scheduled to help me out.  Which will be fabulous.  :)

So, after working 70 hours (easily) last week, I'm taking the day off, and enjoying a little down time at the Humboldt Alterra in Milwaukee.  (I love this place!)  Tomorrow, the prep for Jumpstart week to will begin again, and I'd like to have all of the Mother/Daughter prep work done by Friday too...We'll see what I can accomplish. 

Next Tuesday, I leave for Montana to visit my family!  So, I need to get as much done as possible!!!

Praise be to the God who cares for all our needs!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Alone, At Last...?

Yesterday, the remainder of my staff left, leaving me with a mixed sense of elation, and guilt at that sense of freedom.  On one hand, it's absolutely wonderful to not be directly responsible for the well-being of anyone on grounds; it's great being able to focus on completing all the planning phases of the upcoming retreats without worrying whether my staff are getting a meal that night or not; and it's amazing not having to "rally the troops" to do jobs that they don't really want to do.  On the other hand, I had a fabulous staff - they were willing workers - for the most part - they got along great, and they were just a lot of fun (when I wasn't pulling my hair out).  So, it's a mixed bag, but being able to sleep in until 8:30 am today, was definitely worth it - even if I did have to work the waterfront from 10 pm - noon.  :)

Here's a quick run down on the last few weeks - it's been a whirlwind for sure!
Two week ago, Urban Campers arrived for 5 days of camp.  It's quite different from our regular summer camp, in that our involvement as staff is minimal - it's planned and executed by a committee, and campers come up with their church groups who provide their "counselors" for the week.  So, we pretty much just end up running waterfront, slip n' slides, a few games, and helping out with archery and tower when needed - they even cut out Acorns this year.  So, our work was fairly minimal, but loosing that camper interaction is a little hard for a lot of my staff - they really like to hang out with the kids, and the Urban Camp staff would prefer that we just "mind our own business".  (Which is funny, because interacting with campers is our business).  Anyways, it was a good week, and especially so because on Wednesday night, I was able to go up with part of the Adventure team to run raft support on the Wolf river for an adventure trip that was out!

Jason, Kara, Kurt, Hannah and I headed out to the Wolf at about 5 pm Wednesday night, stopping at REI and Q'doba along the way (Yay!), and ended up pulling in to the campground around 9:30 pm.  It was a fun road trip - lots of singing of country songs, a little Jim Gaffigan, and lots of "my tractor" sightings, and a beautiful sunset.  We sat around the campfire with the Adventure leads for an hour or so before pitching camp.

Thursday morning, we left for the river at about 8:30 am.  We got to Ralph's around 9 am, Ryan gave the river talk, and we all hopped in the bus to go to the head water.  I rafted with Jason (who's a great guide), and it was a LOT of fun!  I seriously wish that guiding those trips was a part of my job.  The kids were great, the day was beautiful, the water was perfect, the rapids were excellent...it was a good day.  Jason and I usually paved the way, and then eddied out after rapids to stop on the shore and take photos of the rest of the rafts as they ran the rapids.  It was pretty sweet - I got some great photos.  :)  We were on the river for about 8 hours, and after we'd shot Big Smokey, we returned the rafts, and then went back to the fall to go under it - that was pretty sweet, but the current was wicked!  There were some white water kayakers who kept hauling their boats up tot he top of the fall and going back down - I don't blame them - if the rafts weren't so dang heavy, I would have too!

Needless to say, after a day of that caliber of paddling, and the unforgiving sun beat down on us, I was whooped!  We ended up sticking around Ralph's for a while waiting for one of our vans to get back - which was kinda nice - to just sit on the bridge and listen to the water.  We went back to the camp ground, changed, said our good byes and hit the road.  We stopped for dinner along the river, and then made our way back to camp.  It was a late night.  Jason drove (bless his heart!), and the rest of us totally zonked out.  At one point, Jay had to pull over at a gas station and take a cat nap to make it home.  (I totally respect a man who knows his limits!)  He said he looked back at us when he pulled in, and we were all heads back, mouths open, dead to the world.  And I believe it.  We got back to camp around 2 am, and I had to be up at 6 am to prep for....something...I can't even remember what now.  So, it was a short night, and a full day - but completely worth it!

Sunday, Burn Camp began.  Our roll during Burn Camp was even more minimal that Urban Camp.  We ran waterfront, slip n' slides and Acorns.  And did TONS of projects all week.  It was wild - but we got it all done.  Like I said, I had a great staff!  There were definitely times where I saw their spirits waning - we were doing things like "grooming the corn maze" and "hay", so it was pretty exhausting - but there were troopers.  I tried to do some fun things for them...Tuesday, we had a Leathershop time during the day, Wednesday, we had a waterfront time, Thursday, I had a BBQ for them at the beach, and Friday I took a van-full of staff to Gus's for icecream - that was a LOT of fun.  :)  And yesterday, after everyone was checked out of their rooms, we cleaned up and put away the slip n' slide, and said our goodbyes.  And then I took a nap.

Saturday night, I went to church - which was so great - I hadn't been in weeks.  It was good to see friends, have some time in worship and hear from the Word.  Then, Melissa, Jamison and I went out for dinner at Potbelly's.  It was good to sit and talk with a friend for a while.  I went to bed at 9 pm, and that brings you up to speed!

Today, after working the waterfront, I went back to my house, had a nice conversation with Kara, made BLTs, took a shower, took a nap, and then headed to Lake Geneva.  (the plan was REI, but I couldn't get out the door fast enough).  I think there's a water show going on at the lake, but it's super crowded, so I've opted for Starbucks, and here I am...sipping a latte and enjoying Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong.

Next week should be pretty nice.  Chris told me to "take it easy", so I'm working 4 hours a day.  Tuesday through Thursday, I'm going with Kara and a couple other girls to Pictured Rocks in Michigan for some camping and hiking - it looks beautiful!  AND, my friend Kellie just teased me with an "are you interested in Boundary Waters next weekend?" to which I say, "YES!".  So - good things on the horizon.  I can't wait to get some quality time with these ladies!

Sianara for now!